cdedodgethis's Xanga Site

i've felt up and down your spine	if you spit me out you'll feel the aftertaste

cdedodgethis
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: cdedodgethis State: California Metro: Los Angeles Birthday: 7/9/1985 Gender: Female Message: message meEmail: email me Member Since: 6/11/2005

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Sunday, June 21, 2009

i want to be wanted so badly

that the smell of me makes your heart ache

i want you to look for me everywhere

and find me nowhere

i want you to think of me unconsciously

to despair that i am not in your arms

i want you to feel something terrible

i want you to know the horrible emptiness that i knew

i want it to spread invasively throughout your limbs

until your thoughts poison you sick

and the air the water the food the sun

dont bring the same nourishment they used to

i want you to crave my kiss

i want you to be satisfied with no one else

i want you to search for any resemblance of me in other women

and be disappointed over and over again

i want your dreams to include me

so that every morning my name is on your lips

and you never know why

1:40 AM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Sunday, June 07, 2009

you touched me with regret in your fingertips
and hope in your brown eyes
im not going to let you down today
ill take your number
but i wont call
ive placed you among the things
i no longer speak about
shoved in shadows
and attracting only dust
you have graded my heart raw
with your petty misconceptions
of love
of life
of happiness
have you smelled it yet
has it hit you
you lost
you smile but it doesnt give me goosebumps
your warm body around me
doesnt turn me on
i have a name now
a man in the house
not a fleeting person i couldnt call a friend
not someone constantly chasing something else

1:44 PM - 6 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Saturday, May 16, 2009

i didnt love you

i felt that i should

so i convinced myself of it

but really

i could break you with a glance

you were the nicest

(yet most neglectful)

person i knew

and maybe you deserved better

but i grew tired of faking it

i dont feel guilty

because you were always too coward to let

i love you

cross your pretty lips

10:37 PM - 10 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

I wrap my mind in you

Stifle opinions

Accusations

I seem to grow smaller around you

That or

the smaller part of me

Is comfortable speaking to you

This flaw I wear in your name

Doesn’t appear when youre not around

People Ive known for years

Don’t know me in front of you

But you reach inside

And pull the most reluctant bit of me

Welcome it like one old friend to another

9:25 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Sometimes I don’t recognize myself

I don’t know if that’s good or bad

If what I was is worse than what I am

9:23 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

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