cdedodgethis's Xanga

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 18:36:35 GMT

Jealousy cant touch me any longer
That thing that youre dating
Cant compare to me
I know now
And it makes me smile
You can take her to the moon
Build her a house in the stars
But ive broken the spell of envy
You handed me
I applaud your attempt
But ive bitten through your skin
And seen my name there
You cant hide
When im in your thoughts
Good luck getting over me
Ive been weak
Ive told you secrets
No one else has ever heard
But they don’t make me smaller
They just make you
Want to save me

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:33:02 GMT

So were even now
Young grasshopper
And my feathers are ruffled
But I wont show it
I used to like the way you looked at me
In silent worship
Now you know too much about me
And watch me with human eyes
That flinch with time
It was bound to happen
Nothing perfect lasts long
And lets admit it
I did you more harm then good
But I wont let you return the favor
I like us better when we don’t talk
About how we feel
When we let the unbidden emotions
Lie on the floor
even mutilated by unknowing footsteps
They refuse to die
I have whispered your name
Without touching you
I have avoided the issue
You may be worth the trouble
But you don’t know me
Having me is not a dream
It’s a danger you shouldn’t crave
In your eyes a misguided ego
Grew from my lips
And my attempt to swallow it
Isn’t going well
You’ve been a good distraction
And I lack the will
To say goodbye

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 05:02:56 GMT

I cant say it
You must understand
You seem comfortable with silence
I will never say it
I keep my mystery
Wrapped around me like soft sheets
I look at you under eyelids
Think about you behind closed doors
Scribble about you in the dark
Its funny how everything
Means more in your head
Ive had dreams
Cant deny that ive thought about it
Pushed the idea around
Twirled it in between fingers
But it dissipates
I don’t give in
I never have

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:30:36 GMT

I like to fuck you with my mismatched socks on

I like to hit you in the face

Push you to the limits of your anger

Just to see if you can come back to me

And a flight of stairs

Saved us

Ive been thinking lately

How youre the only one I can be around

Without having to be someone else

They grab at me

My surroundings

My distractions

They constantly want a piece of me

But only the part they like

You seem to take all me

Without flinching

I watch you with my eyes open

Realizing you are the end for me

And only you can determine

Whether it’s going to be happy

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 04:26:41 GMT

I don’t know what happened
The bitterness eats away at me
Until I cant think anymore
I want you so bad
Yet I cant hide my anger anymore
I really don’t want to play your
Hypocritical game
I really don’t want to get down in the mud
And play dirty
Though I could
I like it when all the cards are on the table
And I can say your name
Without looking over my shoulder
I liked it when you used to like me
And do things for me
I liked it when you used to call me beautiful
Now you wont let me go places
You try to punish me for sins
Both you and I rightfully made
And you cant apologize now
You never could never will
For all the hurt you caused me
Night after night
I saw in you an end to loneliness
But you leave me constantly
I thought you were my forever
But you don’t seem to want me

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 21:24:46 GMT

I must admit my heart was troubled
But I realized what it needed
And made certain adjustments
Youre mine again
Unconsciously and unwillingly
Completely
Mine
My thoughts relieved
My mark upon you
Wont be undone easily
So I smile
Because all is right with the world

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 15:23:52 GMT

Its practically over at this point
Im somewhat pissed
And greatly annoyed
I don’t like rats
But you became one in your effort
To get some high maintenance pussy
I don’t appreciate
My words being strewn around
Like frosting on cake
You manipulative bastard
Who told you
To share my greatest wit
With someone who doesn’t know
What the north star is
I paint words
Not people
Your sidekick has the kind of face
That melts in water
That high heels wearing babysitter
Didn’t bother me
Until her smug conversation
Made it back to me
She shouldn’t know more than I know
She shouldn’t smile that way
Showing teeth
I will wipe the both of you
Out of my sight
Ignorance is contagious
And its only matter of time
Before she fucks the intelligence out of you

Monday, September 21, 2009

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 06:26:41 GMT

I feel the fire between us

It touches me

And I flinch

You pull me in

With arrogant strength

I feel the weight

It grips me between unforgiving teeth

Its all that makes me feel alive anymore

Pain

Violence against my body

There is some truth in it

And truth is all I respect anymore

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 04:28:01 GMT

I wash myself in the words

Manage to cover the parts

Missing

You surprised me the other day

Guessing so close to an open wound

But theres no way you could know

Of the ache that keeps me

Underwater

I talk so much

Deflecting how miserable I am

Go away

You young ignorant thing

Love is still new to you

It has been butchered in me

A hundred times

Do not open your mouth to me

Like you have something to say

You know nothing of my pain

Turn your eyes away

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 04:01:02 GMT

I’ll wait

As the night soaks into me

Creating tremors of feelings

I can’t face

I have fed myself enough lies

Concerning you

The truth might drive me mad

I live this tragedy

Motionless

Needing your words

And hearing none

I have fallen through your hands

Fickle and idealistic as your charm

my bared wings broken

not long after you encouraged them

into existence

your clumsy adoration shouldve

warned me

it ended before I realized it began

the hate I expected dissipates

all that you left on my tongue

was bitter anguish

agonizing regret

you do what they all have done

put a ring on that waiting finger

and forget my name ever

meant anything to you

I will taste happiness

But never swallow it

Its quite inedible to me

from this point on